Of all the people in the world
by MrsSand
Summary: It's not like Kakuzu wanted him as a partner, but, was forced to be so. Hidan would the biggest mistake Pein would ever make in the ex- waterfall nin's opinion KakuHidan oneshot... Rated M for boy loves themes and dear Hidan's mouth...


Just a new FF to do while the Married life is in progress... xD Plus I wanted to make a FF of KakuHidan for awhile now... Aha, it's BoyxBoy and has cursing, so if you don't like, don't read... Simple.

-you-can-always-turn-right-if-you-think-you've-turned-left-

It's not like Kakuzu wanted him as a partner, but, was forced to be so. Hidan would the biggest mistake Pein would ever make in the ex- waterfall nin's opinion, his opinion is what mattered to him anyway. His intuition told him that Hidan would not be a respectful person at all. On Hidan's first day there, Kakuzu thought a simple 'he'll be gone in a week', however, Leader had told him that this Hidan was "specia". So what was he, retarded? Kakuzu had told Pein time and time again, he didn't need or want a partner. Pein had simply waved off the comment that was laced with hate and told Kakuzu these exact words.

"Hidan and yourself will be the best pairing I have ever made in Akatsuki." he explained while Konan flipped through a magazine.

"Seriously Kakuzu, he's strong and knows what he's doing." she nodded and ran a hand through her blue hair. Kakuzu took in a sharp breath, then hissed it out.

"I. Don't. Need, or want. A. Partner." he growled slowly. Truth was, you never messed with Kakuzu in a bad mood. Deidara had figured this out once when he put green hair dye in the stitched man's shampoo. Deidara had never been the same after that.

"Oh! So I should just let you do whatever you want! Because you are SOOO the leader!!" Pein stood up and waved his hands in a dramatic style. Kakuzu blinked as Konan laughed.

"No leader- sama, I ju-"

"Well then, you get it... You may leave." Pein frowned and sat down again, like nothing had ever happened.

"This sucks." Kakuzu grumbled.

"Life sucks, then you die." Pein said and went back to paper work. Kakuzu looked at Konan desperatly, only to recieve a 'I can't help you, sorry' shrug. Kakuzu sighed and walked out of the leader's office. He walked down the hall and sat on the couch with Deidara curled up in a blanket. Not even money could cheer up the terrorist. Deidara looked over at him, to recieve a 'fuck off' glare. The Iwa born nin frowned and huffed.

"What's got your stitches in a knot, un?" he asked skeptically. Kakuzu growled a bit. He didn't hate the blond, he just didn't want anyone to talk to him. Kakuzu knew the bomber would never shut up if he didn't tell him.

"It's about my new partner... I don't need one." he hissed and looked ahead. Deidara laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"That's what danna said about me, un." he grinned. Kakuzu blinked and sighed, watching Deidara shift uncomfortably.

"Yes, but you and Sasori are together, right?" he asked, but Deidara replied by shaking his head.

"Pshya, I wish, yeah. I'm just a good fuck to him." he sighed and his mind seemed to wander. "However, un. I think, no wait... Know, I'm wearing him down." the blond grinned. Kakuzu rested his chin on his hands, but secretly distested the whole two men thing.

"Best of luck." he commented and stood up. "Now if you excuse me, I have to go explain the rules to my new partner, slash meet the "special" fucker." he grumbled as Deidara laughed a bit.

"No, best of luck to you... I know Hidan, un." Deidara smiled and snuggled into a crimson colored pillow. Kakuzu looked back and rolled his eyes.

"Figures you would know him." he frowned and walked up to his room. When Kakuzu walked in, he saw something that he had never seen before. There was a silver haired, most likely albino man sitting on the floor in this strange circle that had magically appeared. He blinked and saw the man take out a pike. _'Oh hell no! That's an expensive carpet!!!' _he thought and grabbed the albino's hair tightly. "Don't you even think about it." Kakuzu cursed.

"Who the fuck are you?" Hidan spat/asked. "My partner?" he asked and put down the pike slowly.

"Yes, I am Kakuzu... I guess you're Hidan." Kakuzu glared and pulled the smaller man out of the strange circle. Hidan glared right back, something Kakuzu had also never seen before, and stood up.

"Yeah, fucking nice to meet you." he said, obviously sarcastic about it. Kakuzu blinked and looked Hidan up and down. Slim body (from what he could see, with the cloak and all), slicked back silver hair, and the most wild magenta eyes he had ever seen. Not that he had seen magenta colored eyes in the first place. Hidan blinked and waved a hand infront of the distracted Kakuzu. "Hellooooo? I asked you a question, dumb fuck." the albino huffed.

"Hm?" he asked and coughed into his hand.

"Why didn't you let me do my fucking ritual?" Hidan cursed and stepped back towards the circle. Kakuzu blinked and put two and two together.

"Oh no you don't!" the exiled ninja roared and grabbed Hidan's shoulders quickly. The Jasinist looked back and glared. "I don't know who you think you are... But that carpet's expensive." he growled and looked Hidan in the eyes. Hidan looked up at him and kept his glare.

"I need to do my fucking ritual, you asshole." he retorted. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and kept his grip on the younger man's shoulders. The albino priest looked at Kakuzu, a bit shocked at the contact he was receiving.

"...Listen to me, Hidan... You will NOT bleed on this carpet, or so help me I will rip your fucking head off." Kakuzu warned and watched Hidan burst into laughter.

"AHAHA!!! You think that intimidates me!? Yeah right! You fucking well wish!!" the foul mouthed jashinist roared and laughed into Kakuzu's chest. Kakuzu pushed Hidan off and on to floor. Truth be told, Kakuzu was a homophobe. He hated the whole two guys thing, but it was bad enough to have to hear Deidara's loud moans off and on through some nights. It had grossed the stitched nin out to no extent. Hidan looked up at Kakuzu and blinked, then glared. "What the fuck...?" he asked and crossed his arms.

"Don't touch me or come that close to me." Kakuzu said simply, glaring back. The albino blinked and sighed, then nodded.

"You're a homophobe?" he asked.

"Why? You gay or something?"

"Yes... As a matter of fact I am, fucker." Hidan replied harshly and stood up. Kakuzu twitched. No WAY he was going to sleep near a gay man. Kakuzu began to worry, what if this Hidan tried to rape him in his sleep... Or worse, not in his sleep. The stitched nin stepped back as Hidan walked up to him. "Listen, Kakaza-"

"It's Kakuzu, you zealot."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, I'm not going to rape you. I'm not a rapist you asshole, I'm a homosexual." he rolled his eyes and sat on his bed. Kakuzu frowned, and stayed away.

_'Yeah, right... Like I'd trust you... Hidan.' _he thought and glared. Hidan smirked a bit and laughed.

"Hey Kakuzu?" he asked and ran a hand through his hair. Kakuzu watched him and glared a bit more.

"Yes?"

"...Are you religious?" he asked and played with a piece of his silver hair.

"No... Religion is bull shit." Kakuzu said and Hidan glared. "Yes Hidan, Jashin is bull-" he began, but was cut of due to the fact Hidan had tackled him to the ground. Kakuzu stared up at Hidan sitting on his stomach and growled.

"You're fucking wrong! I bet you ANYTHING you are wrong about Jashin!!!" Hidan screamed and punched Kakuzu in the face. The ex- waterfall ninja growled deeply, feeling the anger once again rise in his chest.

_"Greattttt. There goes partner four-teen! And he was actually cute... Maybe even sexy." _Kakuzu inner self snickered and he shook the little man away, then flipped out a kunai, slashed Hidan's throat and pushed the albino onto the floor. The young priest cringed and glared up at Kakuzu, panting a bit. Kakuzu's eyes went wide, how could the damned boy be alive!?

"...Thanks-... Alot." he groaned and sat up slowly, blood spilling out of the gash. He held his throat and stood up gracefully.

"How are you not dead?!" Kakuzu hissed and the albino chuckled hoarsely and gripped his neck, blood seeping through the small gaps between his fingers.

"I'm im-mortal, dumb ass." Hidan laughed and choughed up blood onto the carpet Kakuzu had tried to avoid him bleeding on in the first place. The stitched man glared at Hidan.

"You little zealot. Learn to give me respect..." he growled and Hidan smirked.

"Like hell I will!" he protested and Kakuzu glared darkly at him.

_'This is going to be an interesting partnership...' _Kakuzu thought and pulled up his sleeves, it was beat-the-shit-out-of-partner time.

The next three months had proven something to Kakuzu. Hidan was the most annoying, arrogant, selfish, stuck up, bitch he had EVER met. The guy did nothing but cut himself, pray, insult Kakuzu, and whine. Kakuzu had even ripped off his head once and threw it far away. They found it half an hour later... Yet, one thing had been bothering Kakuzu. Even though Hidan was all those things, why was it that he loved the short Jashinist. It wasn't a lust kind of love either. When ever the albino walked into the room, all five of Kakuzu's hearts would be rapidly and his subconsious wanted Hidan so badly, but was he going to tell the fucker that? Yeah right, that wasn't Kakuzu's way. Plus, Kakuzu wasn't gay, he knew this.

"Hey Kuzu?" Hidan asked and laid on their hotel bed. Kakuzu looked over from counting the money from getting their earlier bounty. Another thing about Hidan, he had no sense of money and what it meant to the world.

"One, don't call me that. And two, what?" he asked calmly, but didn't look up. Hidan frowned and sat up.

"Why do we only have one bed?" he asked and Kakuzu sighed. You may ask why, but it's a simple answer. Kakuzu didn't want to spend money if he had a choice, but Hidan's whining made him get a cheap hotel.

"Because it was cheap." Kakuzu sighed, arching an eyebrow. Hidan huffed and sat cross legged on their bed.

"Fucker. I thought you couldn't stand fags." he huffed, almost seeing through Kakuzu. The stitched man blinked and glared a bit.

"Yes, but I think I can trust you not to do something as stupid as touching me." Kakuzu growled. Hidan smirked and took off his shirt, earing a blush from Kakuzu. Thank god if he actually exsisted that he wore a mask.

"That's what you think."

"Hidan?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you feel about being headle-"

"Shutting up." And with that said, the albino kept his mouth shut for the rest of the night.

*****

"So, let me get this straight... You like Hidan, un?" Deidara asked and sat crossed legged, adjacent to the run away nin. Kakuzu sighed, it had been six months since Hidan came waltzing into his life, and boy did he hate him for it. Because, he liked a man, a man! That's gross, but Kakuzu knew deep down it was right.

"Shh... Keep it quiet." he hissed and Deidara giggled.

"Tell me."

"...........Yes." he sighed and looked down. Deidara squealed and hugged Kakuzu tightly.

"YAY, un!!!!" he cheered and Kakuzu blinked, then sighed more.

"Yes, yes. However, Hidan wouldn't want me anyway. Also, the thought still grosses me out." he shuddered and Deidara glared.

"Okay, un. It's not bad... Like, it's not different than anal with a girl... Except she has boobs and a-"

"I GET IT!" Kakuzu interrupted and covered Deidara's mouth. Deidara bit his hand, and Kakuzu cursed, drawing his hand back.

"Okay... But, do you see what I'm getting at, un?" he asked and leaned back on his bed. Kakuzu looked at him and nodded a bit.

"Still-"

"KAKUZU, hm!!" Deidara whined. Kakuzu sighed and furrowed his brows.

"Okay, shut up. Listen, why would Hidan love ME, of all people." he scoffed and Deidara frowned.

"Kakuzu, un. Hidan isn't that fickle. Plus! You don't know what kind of people he likes. AT ALL." Deidara huffed and crossed his arms.

"Fine, Deidara. But, I am not telling him." He said and Deidara pouted.

"Fine, well, at least I now know the truth." he smiled and Kakuzu stood up.

"Good bye, Deidara." he said and started to walk out, but stopped. "Hey, did things work out with Sasori?" Kakuzu asked and the blond blushed.

"Well, he's giving me a chance." he giggled and Kakuzu sighed.

"Ah, congrats." he said calmly. Deidara got off of the bed and ran over to Kakuzu.

"Don't worry Kakuzu, un. I'm sure things will work out with you and Hidan, yeah." he smiled and hugged Kakuzu.

"Deidara?"

"Yeah, un?"

"Get off of me."

"Ahaha, sorry." he sweatdropped and let go. The older man blinked and walked out silenty. What was he going to do now? Ask Hidan what kind of people he was into?

"Here goes nothing." the run away nin huffed and walked into their room. Hidan was laying on stomach, reading a magazine. The albino looked up at Kakuzu staring at him.

"What do you want, fag?" he asked/hissed. Kakuzu growled and walked over to him.

"You're the one who's into men." he retorted and Hidan looked thoughtful, but couldn't find anything to say back.

"Hmm... Touche, Kakuzu." he nodded and put down the magazine. "Now, what the fuck do you want?" Hidan asked again and sat up. Kakuzu sighed and crossed his arms.

"... May I sit?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan's face flushed a bit and he nodded.

_'Dammit! Why do I have to have a stupid crush on this fucker!' _he thought and backed up a bit, so Kakuzu could sit on the edge of the bed. Kakuzu blinked and nodded, then sat down.

"Hey Hidan?" he asked and Hidan looked him in the eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"I dunno, can you?"

"You want your head ripped off?"

"... Err... Yes, you can ask me something." he said quickly, running a hand through his silver hair.

"Out of curiousity, what kind of men are you into?" Kakuzu asked, only to recieve a weirded out look from the Jashinist.

"Why the fuck do you want to know?" he asked, obviously defensive. Kakuzu huffed and rolled his christmas colored eyes.

"If you're immortal and I'm immortal, we might as well get to know more about eachother. How about I ask a question, then you ask one?" Kakuzu reasoned and Hidan thought about it.

"Hmm... Sure, why the fuck not." Hidan grinned a bit, then crossed his legs. "What kind of guy, eh? Well, I want a guy that's not afraid to fight back, that's willing to hurt me. Umm... A guy that's not always looks, I don't care about looks." he shrugged. Kakuzu felt all five of his hearts' strings pull.

_'Do I love this... Boy? He must at least be twenty. No, I think I love him... Gross.' _he thought and Hidan poked him. Kakuzu glared a bit.

"My turn."

"Go ahead."

"Umm... Okay. What's under your mask that you need to hide?" he asked and played with his hair. Kakuzu sighed and shook his head.

"A... Bad scar." he said and Hidan looked at the mask.

"Am I allowed to see?"

"That's a question."

"Shit, right... My bad. Your turn." Hidan laughed a bit, enjoying this.

"Hm, How old are you?" Kakuzu asked simply. Hidan smiled and took his cloak off. The stitched man stared at Hidan's bar chest. Was the Jashinist ever gorgeous.

"Twenty- two." he said and looked up at Kakuzu. Kakuzu frowned under the mask, but stayed calm. "How about you?" he asked. This was the question Kakuzu was afraid of. If Kakuzu even had a chance with Hidan, it would be ruined with the answer. Kakuzu was ninty- one, and he was pretty sure that broke over several rules of the law.

"Do you really want to know?"

"That's a question." he mocked and Kakuzu glared, but looked away from Hidan.

"Ninety- one." he mumbled, but Hidan caught the number.

_'NINETY- FUCKING- ONE!!! Wow... He looks so god damn young.' _Hidan thought and bit his lip softly. "... Cool." he smiled a bit, and Kakuzu whiped his head around, to look at Hidan.

"You think it's... Cool?" he asked, surprised. Hidan grinned and nodded quickly. Kakuzu smirked behind his mask and pulled it down quickly, then crashed his lips to Hidan's in a tooth breaking kiss. Hidan's eyes widened and he grunted, but kissed Kakuzu back. The stitched man ended the kiss and held Hidan to him tightly. The Jashinist blushed and struggled a bit.

"Hey fucker, you gonna sit here and get lovey dovey with me... Or are you gonna fuck me senseless?" Hidan asked and smirked. Kakuzu glared and pushed Hidan onto his back against the bed, then got ontop of the younger man.

"I'll take two for now." he growled into Hidan's ear huskily. The silver haired man's blush deepened.

"Kay." he muttered and Kakuzu began to bite the man's neck roughly. "Ah! Kuzu... Fuck me already!" he complained, but was silenced by Kakuzu's strings wrapping around his face, gaging him.

"Much better." he smirked and the other strings went through Hidan's palms and tied him to the bed. Hidan groaned and cursed at Kakuzu' actions, looking at his bleeding plams with threads stabbed through them. Kakuzu smirked more and ripped Hidan's pants and boxers off, exposing the albino's length. He chuckled and stroked it to life.

"Mffp!" Hidan groaned and bucked his hips up. The stitched man grunted and held Hidan's hips down.

"Be good." he ordered and removed all of his clothes, including the mask, which rarely came off. Hidan cursed more, but stopped when he saw Kakuzu naked. his eyes went wide at the exiled nin's member.

_'Holy shit! That thing will not fucking fit in me!!' _he thougth and began to struggle more. Kakuzu blinked in confusion, but then realized what Hidan was scared of. He took the threads away from his mouth, and only his mouth. The exiled nin removed his hand from Hidan's member, to get a hiss from Hidan, instead of the

"Hidan, It will hurt." he sighed and ran a hand through the Jashinist's hair. Hidan blinked and nodded.

"Err... Is this a one night stand thing?" he asked and Kakuzu shook his head.

"Whatever you want, Hidan."

"... I want to be together, Kuzu~" he purred and Kakuzu smiled. "But, fuck me NOW." he hissed a bit, his mood changing quickly.

"Okay and sure." he chuckled and spread Hidan's legs, then got between them. Hidan smiled and wrapped his legs around the older man's waist. The stitched man knew that Hidan loved pain, so he didn't bother with the stretching. Kakuzu chuckled again and entered Hidan slowly, earning a moan from the male under him. The Jashinist threw his arms around Kakuzu's neck and snuggled his face into him. Kakuzu stopped and waiting for Hidan to get comfortable.

"Ngh, go you bastard." Hidan demanded and bucked his hips against Kakuzu's hips. The older man growled and began to go faster. "Ahh! Harder!" he groaned and his back arched off of the bed. Hidan had tried to pratice chasity, because truth be told, the Jashinist never thought anyone would be good enough for him. Kakuzu kissed Hidan passionatly, and the albino returned the kiss. Kakuzu did have to admit, Hidan's kisses were oddly addicting in a sense. It's like he had to have the Jashinist with him forever.

"Fuck Hidan, you're tight." he cursed, pumping in and out of Hidan quickly. Kakuzu bit his bottom lip, he was tryig to find Hidan's prostate. _'Dammit, come on.' _the man thought and continued. Hidan's body writhered, but his eyes stayed closed, until...

"AHHH! Do that again!" he screamed in pleasure. Kakuzu smiled, bingo.

"Shh..." he hissed and kissed Hidan's cheek while grabbing the smaller man's member, pumping it in time with his thrusts.

"Nah... K- K- Kuzu, I'm close!" Hidan moaned and Kakuzu pumped faster, but nodded. After a few more in time thrusts, Hidan came on his and Kakuzu's stomachs, but the older man was still holding up. However, Kakuzu knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer.

"Yeah, so am I..." Kakuzu grunted, and with that, came inside of the smaller man, filling him with his seed. Hidan screamed Kakuzu's name and fell limp against the bed.

"Ehe, that wasn't SO bad." Hidan chuckled hoarsely. Kakuzu smirked and pulled out of Hidan, then laid next to him.

"Whatever you say, but you'll be sore in the morning." the stitched man glared softly, but Kakuzu could see it was playful.

"I bet you it fucking won't." Hidan challenged while Kakuzu held him close, wrapping his arms around the Jashinist's waist.

"Hmm... Deal." he smiled, and with that, Hidan closed his eyes, knowing for once in his life... He was safe in someone's arms.

*****

Kakuzu opened his eyes slowly and looked to where Hidan had been sleeping, only to see one thing missing... Hidan.

"Christ... Where are you now?" Kakuzu muttered and heard music from downstairs. "I'm going to kill the asshole who woke me up, with this damn loud music." he growled and got out of bed, then got dressed. When Kakuzu walked downstairs, he realized that the music was none other than the music to Hare Hare Yukai. He stopped and looked around the corner to see Hidan and Deidara dancing and laughing to the song. "Hmm... Never took you as a dancer Hidan." he smirked and watched the two. Hidan turned his head around quickly, and so did the blond.

"Shut the fuck up Kakuzu." the albino hissed and turned around again. Kakuzu shook his head and walked over to Hidan, then wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist.

"Wanna make me?" he asked, smirking. Deidara stared at the two and gasped.

"OHMIGOSH!!! You're two are together!? Congrats, un!!" he cheered, then Kakuzu and Hidan both glared at him.

"Say anything, and you'll never find your hands again." Kakuzu said sternly. Deidara nodded, then turned the music off, running upstairs to find his puppet boy. Hidan watched Deidara fly up the stairs in record breaking speed.

"Ehe, you're an asshole." Hidan commented. Kakuzu chuckled and let go of Hidan.

"Welcome to my life."

-you-can-always-turn-right-if-you-think-you've-turned-left-

Well then, that sucked " I'm sorry, I shall stick to SasuNaru from now on... *headdesk* R&R please, it'll make me feel better xD


End file.
